Am I good enough?
I often ask myself this question, maybe too often, “Am I a good enough mom?”
Do I do enough, say enough, feel enough? Do I spend enough time, not just any time but quality one on one time with each of my kids? Do I tell them that I love them enough? Do I feed them well enough? Do I give enough, or maybe I give too much?
Then comes the “what if” question?
What if I don’t do enough, or say enough? What if I don’t discipline enough, play enough, watch them enough? What if I don’t get involved enough, or what if I get too involved? What if I don’t love enough, care enough, listen enough, nurture enough? What if I don’t plan enough “fun” things to do? Seriously … what if all the things I do aren’t enough?
All About Me!
Then the worst on my list – the days when I feel sorry for myself!
Why me, or why is it always my kids? Why can’t I do it like this, or why can’t we do that, or be like them? The grass always seems greener on the other side, more inviting. Everybody else looks so happy, they make it look so easy! Why can’t it be easy of me?
Realise Our Reality
I think if we, or I, spent less time asking these silly questions and just realize that ‘it is what it is’, and ‘I have what I have’ because I was given it by God. It is then that I will very quickly see that my life is already perfect! I am already living that dream, the one I dreamt about when I was a little girl. Every moment of every day, I’m in it, living it. Every single day, right now! Today.
What an honor! What a waste of time questioning it all, questioning myself, when I know deep down that I am enough! God would not have given me something if I wasn’t ready for it, if I wasn’t mature enough for it, if I wasn’t the girl He planned this journey for!
I am young, I am happy, I am healthy. I have a beautiful family and amazing friends who really care about us. We live in a small town, not too small yet still small enough to still carry some of the values we cherish. The ones that keep us from moving to a big city!
Best of all, I am serving a God that is bigger and better than anything I face every day. He is bigger than my silly questions and worries. He loves me that much! He adores me so much that He has already given me my dream on a silver platter!
I Am Blessed
Yes, I’m just a girl in a small town worried that I will make mistakes but that’s okay! We need to see it, accept it and move on with our own lives. We need to stop worrying about everyone else and everything else, because once again I am not perfect, and I never will be, but my God is.
Ephesians 2:10 – For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.