Covid 19 Found Comfort
I watched him go through the doors, alone, and remember thinking ten days after he started feeling funny, “I don’t know if I will ever see him again.”
I didn’t stop at the traffic lights, feeling exhausted, scared and emotional. Covid 19 moved in without us knowing, without a warning, without any possible signs and without results that came in time.
One of the worst feelings in this world is not knowing. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, I didn’t know if they were taking care of him, I didn’t know if he was able to breath and I didn’t know when I will see him again.
The hospital explained (when I called) that they try stabilise patients and then send them home after a couple of hours, because of the current bed situation. I knew I had to stay awake and wait to hear for someone.
What seemed like five minutes since his first shivers was now nearly four hours later when I stopped at home. I made myself a cup of coffee and said to myself “now is the time to be strong, so be strong.” I often do this, I give myself little motivational prep talks. It works every time.
The most important thing I knew I had to have in place was a prayer chain, so I messaged a couple of people and asked everyone to start praying for him. The support and love I received from so many people was what carried me through. Knowing that I wasn’t alone. Knowing that when I was busy with something else, someone else was busy praying for him. God became my strength, I stood tall and believed everything would be okay.(Most of the time) The prayer group just grew every minute over the next couple of days as people heard and continued to pray for us and Barry.
Into The Night
About two hours later he called and told me they were admitting him. By this time he was on oxygen and a drip. It was around 12:30 when I realised he wasn’t coming home that night. Instead of feeling sad or even scared, all I could feel at that moment was gratitude. I was just so thankful I got him to the hospital in time, I was so thankful I found a place where they could help him. I just wanted him to get better. I just wanted him to have air and rest. I fell asleep around 3am and God blessed me with a wonderful three hour sleep. When I woke at 6am I felt ready for the day, ready to do what I needed to do while he is regaining his strength.
Indeed Covid 19
Monday morning he was still not admitted because they still didn’t know what they were facing. Just over twelve hours later we got his results, they did a new test when he arrived and he tested positive. I pray that you never have to experience this, but for those of you who have, you will understand what I mean when I say it felt like my entire world was ripped away from me. I was now standing on the land of the unknown. A place where stats and everything that 2020 has been about became my reality. Fear moved in, I cried, he cried. I was scared. The doctor also told him that he had pneumonia and that in itself was a huge concern.
I had to snap out of it. I had to find strength. I have four kids and I needed to know if they were okay. I phoned the doctor and they told me they stopped testing without symptoms. The labs were not coping and while they are waisting time testing the not sick people, they could be getting results to people who really need it. I understood this, because Barry’s test went missing. We never got his first results and it would have helped if we knew before.
I took two of the four kids for testing, they showed symptoms. Honestly not the same as dad or each other but I needed to make sure. I got their results within one day, and when the doctor phoned me and told me they were positive my legs went numb. Not only were we fighting this thing for one person, I now had two kids on that side of the fence as well. I was shocked. I was sad. Only a few days later my third child got sick as well.
People prayed from all over the world, everyone phoned. The love and support we received was incredible and with every message and phone call I received a little more strength. Knowing that I wasn’t alone. The only thing left for me to do was to let go and let God. I had to be strong. I had to make sure everyone will be okay.
One thing I realised pretty quick was that it was going to take time. Time to get everyone strong and back to their old selves again. The doctor has been an absolute blessing. Where she gets the time to check in every day, and responded to each one of my questions on what’s app within half hour left me speechless. She has been a real gem.
Barry stayed in hospital for six days, and his road to recovery was slow. I can say I saw at least a percentage of improvement each day. His first day in hospital we couldn’t even talk, he was too weak and didn’t have enough energy or breath to talk. By Thursday he could keep a conversation for at least three minutes. Being in hospital under normal circumstances isn’t nice, but the way things are now is just terrible. I understand the why’s etc but it doesn’t make it easy on the people in hospital or the families outside those walls.
I waited an entire hour in the car before he walked through those door. I couldn’t wait to see him. He still looked weak and tired but he was walking and alive and I was happy. He told me when he walked through the doors and saw me standing there, I looked more beautiful than the day he married me. So sweet.
Your Worst Enemy
Here’s the thing. We have become so aware, so scared of everything happening around us and all over the world. The death stats are so high world wide and when you face the very thing that has taken so many lives, you can’t help but wonder if you will become part of those statistics. Media, what I saw that night, leaving him at the hospital door, having kids that got sick and not being able to visit or even talk at the beginning all played such a big role in my own mind.
A person’s mind can easily become your worst enemy, and for a moment there it was. I had to physically tell myself to snap out of it, be strong and put my trust in God. Our time is not in our hands, and we can’t live in fear of death. We just got to learn to trust God and know that His plans are never to hurt us. Everyone prayed for us, everyone called, sent messages, delivered meals and offered help all the time. I realised in those six days how blessed we are, how many people love us and how the people who surround us form part of our beautiful life picture.
In The End
We are now on day twenty since Barry got sick. Our house was hit by Covid 19 and we survived it. As a family of six, just two of us didn’t get sick. Myself and the baby of the house. God has been good to us and I only feel gratitude. As Barry is getting better and stronger, I can say I am almost ready to ship him back to work. Our isolation period will finish on Sunday, but I am in no rush to get back out there. For now I think we will stick to home, online shopping and enjoying each others company. I am sure my kids won’t agree, luckily I am the boss.
Covid 19 might have found comfort in our house for a while but our story has a happy ending. We are not there yet, but soon our live will return back to normal. I will never forget the little things God taught me during this time.
Be safe and look after yourselves. I would like to thank everyone who supported us during this time. You all know who you are, if I mention names I might just forget one or two. I pray that this pandemic comes to an end soon, but let’s learn from this, love one another and support those we love and care for. I also pray God’s had over every household and should you find yourself in my shoe’s, and have any questions I will try help with some advice.