My oldest daughter has been through so much the past couple of months. She’s walking around with a broken heart, asking questions like “what have I done wrong?” or “why am I not good enough anymore?” She’s had a best friend since she was four and although they’ve had other friends, to her this was (is) her soul friend.
It’s been a hard and difficult year for her friend as he was a victim of bullying at school, eventually he was moved to another class where he found peace and happiness. This is where things really changed for Nika. For reasons unknown he just needs space from her right now and although I can understand that this is not his natural behavior and he really is just dealing and coping with everything that happened to him this year, it is braking my little girls heart.
It’s reached such a point where I have tried everything, from being the soft mom, to the harder mom to the mom that starts threatening. We get desperate, we try everything, well anything to just help your eight year old cope with emotional disapointments. I don’t want her growing up, thinking she is not good enough. So this was the sumary of a very long and sad story.
After a difficult week she begged me to take her to the petshop on Friday afternoon. It was the last thing I felt like doing, I was tired and finally had an afternoon where I didn’t have to drive anywhere or be anywhere. Around 3:45pm I decided to take her, not with an entirely good heart, but if I had to look into her sad face for one more minute I was going to make a back flip. (I know it probably sounds like I’m being mean, but it gets a bit much after weeks of trying to make things better.)
She is in love with animals, henz the whole “little live pets” collection. I gave the talk on our way to the petshop and she understood 110% that we were not buying any animals. It was the best decition I made as a mom all week, my daughter was laughing and jumping, she was even singing to all the animals. We left 20 minutes later…. with two kittens…. without phoning my husband, and as we jumped into the car I thought to myself “you are the biggest pushover mom ever!”
It’s been a good weekend. Storm and Spiky was a good decision. I listened to my heart and followed my instincts. I didn’t over think it, I didn’t plan it, I didn’t even console with my better half, I just did it.
Sometimes being the mom means to just listen to your heart. Sometimes our decitions doesn’t have to make sense and just sometimes we can be irrisponsible and follow the little voice that connects with our hearts, because we are MOMS.
I’m not saying these kittens are going to take away all her pain and sadness but I know for now, this, this is what she needs. Obviously I am not leaving it up to the kittens to fix the problem, I’m onto it but while I’m trying to figure out what the next step will be, she is loved and adored by white fur balls and the entire family are enjoying them. Yes, even my husband. 🙂