Desperate Mom Needs Desperate Measures

There’s a theory I’d like to test. Seriously, if I say the “mom run” on a daily basis is killing me, I mean it. I need to make a plan. I need help! 

It’s not because my kids do too much because they don’t. It’s because I have so many kids. Four, I have four kids! 

The Issue – Time

Some days we only get home after 5 and then we haven’t even touched homework. Why? Well because I’m the homework teacher and I’m the taxi mom. This isn’t something unique to me! I know for a fact that everyone in my circle has this same problem. 

Our town is small but if I stop at tennis for instance, it’s not worth my while to drive home and start homework just to drive back to tennis five minutes later to fetch the little tennis player. Most of their activities are only half an hour long. Sometimes I don’t have much choice. I have to leave because I have to fetch one of the others while the other one is busy. 

It’s literally impossible to be in two different places at the same time. I’m running in circles trying to catch my own tail. Yes,  like a dog. 

The Real Issue – Why Can’t Kids Be Kids Anymore?

That’s not my main issue with this whole set up. My real issue is that I am sick of my kids not having time to be kids. I’m tired of Monday to Thursday being one big rush, no time to talk, laugh together, play or anything like that. 

Why? I have to ask myself the question. Is it really worth it all? Does it really matter? Do they really need to do all the things they do?

I have two boys who are not in “school school” yet, and it feels like I have nothing of them between Monday and Thursday. Not only is this unfair towards them, but also to me. I love spending time with my kids. I love playing with them. Gosh sometimes I just want to veg in front of the TV, but there’s no time. 

My Grade 3 daughter, Nika, gets so much homework. It is literally two hours of homework a day. And then when she writes a test she still gets that two-hour homework load! I kid you not! 

Since Roxy started Grade 1 in January,  I’ve lost all sense of order. It feels like I’m swimming in the deep end all the time. I’m sending my kids to school with the wrong work done, sometimes we don’t do some homework. Other times I lose their tests, because yes that also happens. Stuff comes home that we have to sign and send back the next day. That takes time as well, a lot of time.  I’ve swapped their lunchboxes, we’ve arrived at school with no bags, we’ve even missed important dates. 

And I know I might sound very self-assured when I say this but I’m actually a very organised parent and person. I have to be. I have to know which kid, what day and where. It’s just so much that I’m not sure if I’m coping … or and this is a big one … OR maybe I’m doing it wrong? 

The Plan

What if I stop everything for an entire term?

What if I tell my kids, I will fetch them from school and we will come straight home and stay home?

It almost sounds too good to be true.

Remember, this is three against one! I mean they won’t mind certain things I’m sure, but my girls won’t be happy loosing piano lessons. What about hockey? Choir? Scouts? Tennis? These are the things they love! I’ve stopped all dancing and ballet, I just couldn’t! But what if I stopped everything and choose life? Quality of life, instead of what we are doing now? Existing. Rushing. 

Will It Make A Difference? 

See here’s my only problem. If I cancel everything they won’t get their awards at the end of the year. If I cancel everything and decide to go back after a term, I would have to fight for new time slots because mine will be gone. This could result to even later evenings. 

I mean can I win? How can you test a theory if you can’t even test it?  

My kids don’t do excessive stuff, really! The problem is that while they are all chilling at home I’m driving a child to something and waiting in the car. Sometimes they will come with me and keep me company, but who wants to spend hours in the car every afternoon? Not me! Certainly not them!

If we have major tests happening, we study in the car, but I can’t take more than one at a time. We are limited with space and they need to concentrate.

I feel like I need to figure this out before next year because then I’ll have another child in school. Another little person doing more than his two little things a week. How on earth will I cope? 

I Need Advice, I Need Help!

There has got to be an easier way! I need help! If you have older kids and find yourself in my shoes, please share with me how you cope and what you do? How do you make it through each day in one piece? And am I the only mom out there that gets stuff wrong? 

Please let me know in the comments below? I can’t be the only one in this situation. Can I?

11 Comments

  1. Hi. Ek kan n voorstelling maak. Die nasorg by ons kyk dat kinders by aktiwiteit uitkom en terug en hul help met huiswerk. Wanneer ek haar kry en huis toe gaan is dit ons tyd. Dan vra ek uit oor die dag en kyk na klaar gedoende huiswerk. En sy kry tyd om te speel of storie kyk (ry gewoonlik fiets). Het ook elke dag n ander aktiwiteit gehad maar het dit gestop en sy moes kies wat vir haar die heel lekkerste is. 1 x Skoolsport somer en winter is n moet. So ek stel voor dalk ekstra hande? Sterkte xxx

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    1. Dankie.

      Ek het vir dié laaste 2 jaar Elke jaar iets anders probeer. Graad 1 het ek n nanny gehad wat hier was en wat gehelp het. Oulike vroutjie Sy was heeltyd hier terwyl ek en Nika rond gery het en huiswerk gedoen het. Probleem was ek het steeds my ander 3 gemis. Toe Nika in graad 2 was het ek n privaat huiswerk Juf aangestel wat haar huiswerk gedoen het terwyl ek rond gery het vir haar sport en dinge. Dit was wonderlik maar haar punte het effens geval.
      So die jaar het ek besluit ek doen alles self. Ek verkies Om my eie kids rond te ry. Ek dink ons moet dalk afskaal met sport en ipv 3 kultuur goed wat dié hele jaar lank is net 1 te maak.

      Dankie vir dié raad en liefie ❤️

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  2. Dis baie moeiilk om als the juggle. En coming van ‘n ma met net 2 kinders wil ek eerstens vir jou sê….WELL DONE, JY DOEN GREAT!!! Met 2 raak ek soms van my kop af, so kan net imagine hoe dit met 4 moet gaan. Ek moes ook op ‘n stadium besluit het hoe gaan ek ons lewens aanpas dat ons nog kwaliteit lewe het en nie net jaag…jaag….jaag nie. Veral toe ons nog in die stad gebly het, het ons BAIE tyd in die kar spandeer. Ek het toe vir die kinders sulke uitskop skinkbord/tafeltjies gekoop. So terwyl sussie bv netbal oefen het boetie in die kar sit en huiswerk doen en as boetie gimnastiek oefen, sit sussie en huiswerk doen. Anders het dit net soos tyd wat verlore gaan gevoel terwyl mens sit en wag in elk geval. Ons ander reël was dat as ons skool toe en huis toe ry oefen ons mondelinge en doen die lees stukkies vir die dag. En dan ‘n ander reël in ons huis is dat elke kind net 2 buite skool verband aktiwiteite mag hê….as hulle iets anders wil doen, dan moet hulle een opgee na die seisoen verby was. So was dit maar ‘n proses van elimination tot ons agter gekom het wat hulle passie is en waarmee hulle goed is. Vicky het dit vanoggend so goed gestel, sy het gesê hulle glo nie in performance driven children nie, maar eerder purpose driven children. Dit het my so getref en is dit nie eintlik maar wat ons wil hê nie. Ek glo en ek weet dat die Here jou sal lei en vir jou die nodige wysheid sal gee met hierdie een.

    You go girl!!!

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    1. Wow Dankie Ronel. Ons probeer ook sekere goedjies in dié kar doen. Ek mis net die ander 2 wat nie meer saam wil ry nie. Ek blameer hulle nie, want wie wil in n kar sit en wag. Ek gaan def dinge verander. Ek wil nie terug kyk en n gejaag sien nie. Purpose driven…. ek hou daarvan. Wens ek kon dit maak. Liefie xxx

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    1. I had the nanny when Nika was in grade 1. As much as she was a blessing to us, it was also very hard. It’s a second person in the house, who doesn’t teach and parent so by the end of the year I was pretty much over it. It a lot harder to have that person if you are a mom at home and involved with your kids than what it is for a mom actually working and not being home. I’m praying about it and I know God will give me the answers but I won’t settle for a second best life. I want the best I can have and I want us to have quality. Xxx thank you for the comment much love

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Marishie, why don’t you get someone to do the driving, then you are at home with the minority of the kids spending time doing homework, and someone else gets the fun of driving around & waiting in the car?

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