I am a very competitive person who always wanted to do well from a very young age. I won’t say a ‘win’ was the only way for me, but I wanted to be on top. This was my mindset no matter what I did. Let it be sport, school, home, between me and my sibling, in the family, with friends, being brave … I was, or am still, very competitive.
Having kids changed me in a way that I can’t really explain. Whilst I am still very competitive, now I can silence it, I can control it and I don’t have to be on top anymore. I can live with the fact that I am not the best. I’m not sure if it is a good thing or bad thing but I’m sure I will get the answer to that question some time during my life’s journey.
My Internal Struggle
My first-born is the complete total opposite of me. She is the most relaxed chilled out little person ever. Nothing bothers her, win or lose, team or no team. She just does everything and in it she has fun and dances with the fairies. It kills me sometimes because I just want her to get out there and “Nike” it.
I really, really, had to teach myself to relax and take 100 steps back, to bite my tongue and go with her flow. It’s hard as a parent but they are not us! We have to accept them for who they are and then respect their pace in life. In my case I have to run four different paces, and then somewhere in between there I have to find my own pace and balance as a woman but also as a wife. These two titles are two completely different things.
The worst thing a parent can do is to push a child to be something they are not. I often have to remind myself that I am the grown up now and they are the innocent children still learning to spread their wings so that they can fly one day.
I guess the only thing we can do as parents is to stay grounded on our knees! If I have learnt anything since becoming a parent, it is this: bite my tongue while letting go on my knees with my eyes wide open!
Competitive or not, it doesn’t matter!
What does matter is teaching them to compete in life. Encouraging them to try everything, live while doing it, having fun, dance with the fairies and know to be thankful every day that we are gifted yet another day of life!